Tag Archives: Romance

((I Love You)) Because I Choose To

After all this time,

I think

That I finally understand,

The reason I feel for you the way I do…

& it’s because I choose to.

no matter how much shit you do,

that I,

think at time is dumb or pointless,

& no matter how much sometimes, I,

want you to bend, to my will, and do what I want, and you won’t,

no matter how much I get frustrated sometimes,

over how your perception of what’s important, impacts how you prioritize your time and how that just throws wrenches into the gears of my over scrutinized micro managed schedule, bringing my whole life it seams to a halt…

I am grateful  that you are part of my life.

Because there is a bond between us,

You see,

All your weirdness wore on me,

And you slowed me down enough

To enjoy some things in life that I had forgotten,

Like long walks holding hands,  quiet suppers, the joy of art, sleeping in on Sundays,

& having meaningful conversations about noting of great importance, how to be friends and truly enjoy another’s presence, how to take the time to take time and be part of, & how to let go of all the things that I think I have to get done

The Strange thing is that it’s like you balance me

Slowly

Becoming the woman I love.

We sure do share space well together.

It took me a while to figure it out,

But I feel for you,

The way I do

Simply…

Because I choose to.

Foolish Dream

I have been thinkin lately

Yeah, yeah…

I know right, thinkin.

But I’ve been thinkin, that I shouldn’t dream, well, not of love anyhow.

For some reason, it seems the whole love thing has given up on me.

Its not their fault, well, not entirely, this battle worn heart of mine is calloused.

And is overgrown with with thick layers of fear woven together like a laberynth of poisonous raser-sharp-thorn-bushes, impossible to manuver and deadly.

Well…

That may be a bit of an exageration, just a wee…

But the point is that I have yet to find the one who can unlock the prison gates that hold this heart of mine pent.

What happened to bumping into your soul mate at the super-market

!!CRASH!!

Spilling all the contents in your arms, like

“oops, sorry…”

And falling madly in love, forever?

Where did the late night phone calls go?

You know the ones we use to make, just to hear each other’s voice?

Before there were text messages and short-hand-computer-jargin L.O.L.’s and O.M.G.’s?

Before MYSPACE, FACEBOOK and HTTP://WWW.EVERYOTHERSOCIALNETWORK.COM?

And mail order brides from UGOTRANSLUTVANIA flooding my emails I never gave to anyone, I thought, I didn’t trust?

When you had to actually call someone, stop what you were doing, sit down, and talk?

Because if there was a cell phone around, it was the size of a suit case and it would give you a brain tumor just looking at the contraption?

Its like the world has gotten too fast for love and too short for forever and no one likes to meet in public anymore…

4 people at a table, with 4 other people all texting 4 other people at 4 other tables, with 4 other people all texting 4 other people at 4 other tables with 4 other people and so on…

Forgetting the waitress with the cute smile whom did her make-up just to be pretty at work.

But, don’t say hello, cuz you’ll spook the skin off the pour girl. And don’t ask her for her number without your FACEBOOK RESUME, pictures included and dated, prepaired and calibrated for instant download on PDA platform digitation.

What happened to walks in the park and awquard moments, not filled with the chimes of status updates, now those, oh so welcome interruptions? “I just had a penut butter sandwich, mmmmm…”

!!HOW USELESS!!

It’s like love isn’t meant to last, but is it even here any more?

How can I find it amidst this barrage of inqueries?

The world got so much smaller with all these devises and networks but all it did was crowd out Ms. Right.

Thought it would be easier, but awe well…

Just stay focused, build this company, turn this dirt into an empire, make music until my ears can’t hear and forget about this love thing, dreams are for kids, “SILLY RAPPER.” But I tell you what, silly or not, I desperatly wait to find the woman who can derail me like a car on the train tracks and consume me. A woman so worth while I could forget just what it is I am doing here. A woman so fun to be around and that made me feel so good I couldn’t help but be near, couldn’t help but call just to hear her say, “Hello.”

I miss childish things like dreams.

And that’s why when I walk through the super-market I carry my basket in my hands, because one day, when I’m all wrapped up in building my empire and being a successful musician and I forget about women, I’m just in a rush to get what I need all discombobulated in my head with plans and techicalities, I will clumsily bump into a woman, lose all the contents in my basket, and she’ll say “Hello…” with a twinkle-in-he- eyes, derailing everything I think is so inportant about right now… and she’ll show me, a glimpse, of forever…