Fear is a killa / sly, it’s a pilar / a fixed point, a missed joint / a / 3 Ton Gorilla ///

Vanishing, like / Euclid’s lines into space // 

Where / two become one, the truth be displaced, almost erased, but / really just out of phase, with / how my eyes focus on material objects, yo / this plane of existence // encased ///

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Feelin the wait / awaitin the feelin /

No I can’t see’em, but / constant appealin /

Chillin on my chest / and / holdin me back / F.E.A.R. ///

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A 3 Ton Gorilla / the killa / for real the, Godzilla a pill ta take ta wake from the terror I deal with ///

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In stack / like / back-to-back, racks / snappin cataracts / that / fade to black / in / lethal combat / cage fights , no lights, Mad Max, line flats, heart stops, heart starts, climax ///

Tantalizing / never mat / terializing / that which / hoped for or dreaded / I said it, I meant it slacks / and slaps / scratched on wax / dropped in bars / spun on tracks / facts to fax / in / coded wraps, decrypted / O’s and 1’s / binary stats / either or traps that ignore / the complexity ///

Next to me, surrounding me / compounding the / effects, of the nexus impounding me / confounded be / the foundation upon which I thought to plant my / feet /

 beseeching me / not reaching the / truth / of who I am, the solid ground through which / I, find / my roots ///

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It doesn’t exist / that / was a / dream repressed /// supplanting my reality / then implanting the fantasy / a pacemaker slowing the steps I take / takin away the steps I would have otherwise made / towards the end / my happiness / my little bit of heaven / the sweet taste of the nectar / the finish line of accomplishment that marks a goal I’ve met // turning back from the peak I’m on to see the peak I’d left / beyond the jungle I’d recently transgressed / to see the place where I made the goals I set // no step ///

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Entranced / by an illusion that doesn’t belong to me / wherein I meet a, deathly circumstance / a million drones / a zillion ants / a single purpose / cease all advance // my stance /// 1,000 yard stare at half a glance // plotting a billion scenarios before / happenstance / no potential / however / incidental / left to chance, latched / in the expanse… of what if’s // most revealin / I’m a failure // before I begin ///

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Petrified / stupified / unable to move / flesh turns to wood / wood turns to stone / watching the world change around me / until / stone turns to dust / and / I am finally / gone ///

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Never makin a move / to enhance // my chances, in life // paralyzed // alone // wishin I’m / any / thing / else // any / where / else // any / one / else /// than being caught in the grips / of False / Exist / Tance / Appearing / Real // F.E.A.R. ///  A 3 Ton Gorilla / the killa / for real the / Godzilla a pill ta take ta wake from the terror I deal with ///

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Real / is that what I can see / what I can hear / what I can, touch, taste, smell / or / feel // well / I feel this existence appearing before me / dust clouds are  forming / a wave of emotions / storming // a cacophony of voices / swarming///

 // you’ll never amount to / no / thing // you’ll fail before the end of this mor / ning // you’re an / imposter / the roster is full / don’t even try / you cannot deny / ev / er-ry-thing, about you is a lie /// they see right through / the flimsy chain mail you put on in an attempt to protect you from the truth / you / were never meant to be and no body loves you / you’re fragile / and your life doesn’t matter you should be / exiled // left to rot / for dead ///

 these are the voices I hear from deep within the / shadows of my head ///

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If real / is / what I can / feel / then / these things that I’m hearing are the realist / cuz I / never stop hearin them // feeling them / sinkin in to the brink of / who I am ///

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FEAR // A 3 Ton Gorilla / the killa / for real the / Godzilla, a pill ta take ta wake from the terror I deal with ///

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A black hole / gravity so strong it pulls in the light surroundin it / beindin space and time within / the laws of the universe are stretched so thin / they no longer apply to it // and that is precisely how I feel when the 3 Ton Gorrilla is on my chest / my head filled to the brim / with din ///

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But just because I feel something / does not have to make it real // often / my feelings have little to do with reality // and sometimes // that’s a hard to swallow pill // the kind that’s too big to begin with and then turns sideways after my lip / too late to take it back / it already has a grip // 3 Tons / is too much to move / and though this may seem to contradict / fighting through is of no use / the way out is to accept // most of the voices are false / and those I can reject / by having a deep and grounded knowledge / of what and who I am // then I can see the trees for the forest / and the path from peak to peak / sorting out the nonsense that makes me think I am weak and easy to defeat // courage // is not the absence of fear // but rather // the willingness / to move forward through it / and the 3 Ton Gorilla / can stay / just!! // where it is /I’ve already bid adieu // to it ///