Yo, the bullshit we have to put up with when we try to get anything done for our people/

 

Is worse than attempting to squeeze a camel through the eye of the needle,

 

whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean,

 

I mean, I think of the piece of metal, with a loop in the end that I attempt to mend my clothing with

 

that is smaller than the tip of one of my overly expensive and wasteful pens that I use at college and a camel that is ten times the size of my body with relatively the same weight distribution and attempting to thread that through it

 

It just doesn’t compute, and unless you can provide me with a counter example to make that statement seem more true, I am left with the reasoning that threading a camel through the eye of a needle is almost impossible to do, and to still have a camel on the other end when I am through

 

That is what it feels like trying to get anything positive done for our people

 

The opposition to moving forward is like the gravitational hold the earth has because it is spinning on an axis that pulls me back to the ground every time I attempt to leap to the moon

 

Face plant, sand mask, broken legs and spirit, soaking wet, in a puddle, moping, taxed ain’t nothing clearer, asking the questions that I should never have to ask

 

Why am I loathed, hated, raked over the coals, shunned, disbanded, disenfranchised, debated, ridiculed, chastised, insulted in public and by people I would have called my friends, people I have taken hits from police billy clubs with, for not just resting on my laurels and sitting on my ass, while our people are out here dying?

 

I expected this from the politicians, the police chief, the 206 neo white liberals, screaming let’s just be friends, can’t we all just get along, wasn’t everything just so good when you were not paying attention to the brutal police force we hired to kill you, maim you, terrorize your nieces and nephews, the disparities in Seattle Public Schools, the unjust displacement of low income families, the eradication of black entrepreneurs, the denial of tribal nations’ sovereignty, the degradation of the planet, the rampant anti-blackness, can’t get hired the fact is, that when you just stayed in your place and didn’t make waves that is when we were the happiest and we know that you were, too, so just get back into your place because #AllLivesMatter dude

 

Yeah, I expected that shit, and I still get a whole lot of it too

 

But I can weather that like water under the bridge, par for the course, puddles on the road, got rain boots on, like I am prepared for this so pour, I can choose to engage or ignore, it all depends on how much I think will be gained be investing my energy in store, keeping score, sometimes it simply doesn’t matter how much truth these closed-minded, closet racists imbibe or how many facts implore a different perception, they are like little Igors to their masters of white-bellittlency, and the ideology of individualism that ignores the contextual realism that displays the realities we face at their cores

 

 

 

And it is the same shit no matter where it is that we go, stereotyped and dismissed from the moment we open the door, but we expect that and are prepared for that

 

All I am saying is that it is difficult enough when at any time I may be made dead or imprisoned, I may be kicked out of school, lose funding, not be able to get a job for a very long time or find a place to live, dealing with the reality that I have been beat up by the police multiple times and that it is going to happen again and again, and that I face these threats and dangers, these risks each time I head into the street to put my body between injustices and the harms they cause, each time I walk into a council chamber to testify, each time I sit on a panel or grab a microphone and start speaking truth

 

without being torn down by those I never built walls to defend myself against, who can reach the deepest, cut my soul to pieces, mercilessly and without recourse or consequence, and can kill the movement inside of me

 

the bullshit we have to put up with when we try to get anything done for our people, can be deadly